So, as a gift from me to you, here are five things you can do instead of terrorizing the person you're celebrating with the "Happy Birthday" torture. 1. Give a toast, take a shot, consume ...

This is how I’ve come to think of it, at any rate, each of the many times a day — six, eight, 10, a dozen — I sing “Happy Birthday” and scrub my hands to try and wash away the dread.